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Showing posts from November, 2017

Dating with an Eating Disorder

I don't even know what this blog is anymore; part eating disorder confessional, part dating disaster diatribe. Then, recently, whilst catching up on all my blogging favs, I came across Vix's post about the complexities of dating with a mental illness, and I realised, my eating disorder and my dating life are intrinsically linked. I can think of multiple times when one has effected the other and led me to laying on my bedroom floor in my pants surrounded by doughnuts and Wotsits. 
When I first became single at the age of 26, after 9 years in what can only be called a ‘pretty shitty’ relationship, I was fully committed to my Binge Eating Disorder. My life revolved around bingeing and prepping for binges, and there was little time else to invest in dating, love and other stuff.  I was sad, swollen and bloated and my self esteem and was in the dirt. In truth, during myfirst 2 years of singledom, I didn't dare go on a date. I remember reading an article once that said men's …

If you think a Demogorgon is scary, then you've never been on a date in your 30's.

So you've binge watched season 2 of Stranger Things in 24 hours and your Halloween decorations are in the bin, but you're not quite ready to sling on the Christmas jumper yet and crave one last autumn spook? Come in, draw up a chair and let me tell you of the true horror, which befalls lonely singletons this cold cuffing season. 
For I have been dodging vampire bites since 2012 and have busted myself a ghost or two, so let me navigate you safely out of the dinner party with Hannibal Lecter and arm you with all the silver bullets and wooden stakes that you will need when you are over 30 and single.
Ghosts, ghouls and ghoulies are the mainstay of any Tinder Nightmare. Have you even Internet dated if the 'one' disappears off the face of the earth the day they are due to meet your mother? Ghosts in truth are cowards, they are the people that can't quite brace themselves to send the "it's not me, it's you text". But trust me, pals, it's them; i…

I'm OK, just not today.

Trigger Warning: This post includes descriptions of binge eating and talks about poor mental health. Please don't continue reading this if you fear it may be triggering for you. 

I haven't blogged for a while. I have written, I have written a lot. My blog drafts are filled with half written posts that have never made the edit, never been completed. It isn't that I haven't wanted to write, it's that I couldn't find the words. They weren't funny enough, positive enough, they didn't quite cut it, so I saved them and promised to come back to them another day, and then I never did. 

I started this blog shortly before I finished therapy for my eating disorder. My therapist suggested that blogging was a good way to make sense of my thoughts, connecting with other people like me. And yet, when I have needed to do that the most, I have shied away from it. Put my laptop down, and waited for a better day to come.  

I always knew that recovery would never be an upward…